Alejandro (or Sunday Afternoon at the Mexican Restaurant)

*No offense intended toward anyone of Mexican descent, or Lady Gaga for that matter.

I put my name down
With the host now
But he won't call it yet
Won't call it yet

I've got my heart set
On some fajitas
That tomorrow I'll regret
I will regret

You know that I'm hungry, chico
Clear that table, make it quick-o
Seat me anywhere you want
In the restaurant

Just call my name, just call my name
Alejandro
Don't want to wait, don't want to wait,
Fernando
Don't want to stand, I want to sit
Bring me tortilla chips and dip
Just call my name, just call my name
Roberto
Alejandro, Alejandro, Ale-ale-jandro, Ale-ale-jandro

Why is there pizza
On the menu
I don't think pizza is from Mexico

Can I still order
From the lunch list
'Cause it's like three bucks cheaper
I'm saving dough

You know that I'm hungry, boy
Ooh!  Here comes my food. Rejoice!
More Coke Zero, por favor
Comamos ahora!

Just call my name, just call my name
Alejandro
Bring me my plate, bring me my plate
Fernando
I'll have fried ice cream for dessert
I'll tip you; you don't have to flirt
Just call my name, just call my name
Roberto
Alejandro, Alejandro, Ale-ale-jandro, Ale-ale-jandro

Repeat chorus a ga-zillion times

I'm Not Old, I'm Just-- Hey! You Kids Get Off My Lawn!

I suppose it's time to face facts.  I am officially an old fart.  This isn't really a new realization; I've been wrestling with this for some time.  I have embraced my impending "elderly-ness," mainly because I'm just too darn tired to fight it anymore, but also for many other reasons that have lately come to light.

For instance, I have vivid memories of my parents when they were my age, and they seemed really old.  I suppose that's how my children see me now.  I'm that old bore who's always saying things like, "Back in my day..."  I always thought I would be the mom who seemed eternally young and hip.  Then I realized that young, cool moms don't use words like "hip."  Which reminds me, I need to go take my Calcium supplement.

I remember a time when I stayed out all night on crazy road trips and doughnut runs.  I would get back in time to go to class, take a quick nap on a couch at the BCM, and then I was off again on another adventure.  The other night I fell asleep in the chair in front of the television.  Watching Cooking Channel.  At nine o'clock.  So many things about that just scream "OLD!"

The funny thing is that, while I complain a bit, I don't really mind growing older.  It sure beats the alternative.  And aging has it's advantages.  It's the perfect excuse to take naps.

I hope that when I'm really old I can be what folks describe as "spry."  I want to be the slightly crazy old lady who zips around town in a red sports car and has a purse full of butterscotch candy to give to any children I meet.  I'll travel, and take salsa lessons, and create weird art.

Right now, I guess I'm just resting up for retirement.