Tuesday, February 06, 2007

I wondered all weekend about what I would do. What could I say? How would I say it? When? Where? I was confused, but determined to do something. I knew I was taking a huge risk. There was a definite possibility that he was not interested, and that I would get rejected. I decided however, that rejection was better than spending the rest of my life wishing I had done something and wondering "what if?" Monday came around, but was completely uneventful. Tuesday was a different story. In order to prepare for final exams, the college gives a day off. Students call it "Dead Day." On dead day I had an exam to make up for my history class. I went in with a plan. I took the test and headed to his office. Since it was dead day, there was no one around. This was my chance. I was going to talk to him avout how I felt. I started to get really nervous as I walked down the hall, so I stopped off the the break area to calm my nerves. I was trembling all over. I told myself to calm down, but I just could not stop quivering. Was I doing the right thing? What if he thought I was crazy? Could I really do this? I wasn't sure. I finally just prayed. "God, if this is what I'm supposed to do, calm my nerves and give me the words to say." At that moment I stopped shaking, I took a deep breath, and I walked out of the break room and down the hall to his door.