Monday, August 17, 2015

10 Signs You Were a Church Girl in the 90s

The 90s were like, totally awesome in so many ways, but they were especially cool for church girls. If you were a member of a church youth group, GAs, or other religious organization during the 90s you probably have a lot of fond memories of lock-ins, pizza blasts and fundraising car washes. You probably also remember that:

1. You had a crush on one or more members of the group DC Talk-
Most 90s girls had to say a prayer of repentance at least once for secretly wishing to have Toby Mac's babies. And you may or may not have had a dance routine to "Jesus Freak."
Eminem?  Puh-lease...

2. You knew the power of Veggie Tales-
Any junior leader knew the importance of having a library stocked with Veggie Tales videos for Junior Church or nursery duty.. They were funny and entertaining and if you timed it just right, parents were there to pick up their kiddos just as the credits rolled.
"It's time for Veggie Taaaaaaaaaales!"

3. You knew WWJD-
The trendy bracelets not only advertised the fact that you were religious, but they were a big help when making important life decisions. Should I answer back to this rude person? What would Jesus do? Should I go to that wild party? What would Jesus do?  Should I wear sneakers or sandals?  What would Jesus do? (Duh, sandals.)
'Cause Christians need swag too.

4. You thought Shout to the Lord was the bomb-
This praise song turned power anthem was a staple at youth rallies and retreats during the late 90s. It was like the "Bohemian Rhapsody" of church songs. If you heard it you had to sing it at the top of your lungs. Whether you could sing or not.
We loved Darlene Czeck  Czech  Zwieback ... whatever.

5. You kissed dating goodbye-
The well-known treatise on Biblical courtship by Joshua Harris came into vogue in the latter part of the 90s. While people could argue that Harris made some good points, most of us just jumped on that bandwagon if the approaching weekend found us dateless.
*Sniff* This is waaaay more scriptural.

6. You went to Church Night at the skating rink-
Many skating rinks had a special "Church Skate" on Wednesdays. They would forgo the MC Hammer and Madonna and play Christian artists like Michael W. Smith and Steven Curtis Chapman. Youth groups would come by the busload for good, clean, potentially bone-breaking fun.
There's nothing like busting your rear-end to the pulsing beat of Carman.

7. You laughed at Mark Lowry.
 Mark Lowry was the Christian comic du jour of the 90s. He was goofy but joked about stuff we 90s church kids could totally relate to. It wasn't a good church van trip until the group leader pulled out the Mark Lowry cassette tapes he bought at the Christian Book Store.
Yes, that is what television sets looked like back in the day, kids.

8. You went to or worked at a Judgment House
While most of our friends were going to haunted houses during Halloween, we church girls were attending or volunteering at our church's Judgment House. We splattered ourselves with  fake blood and played accident victims or we dressed in all white with tinsel halos and played angels. Because what's Halloween without dressing up and scaring the crap out of ministering to people?
Nothing says "Jesus loves you'" like seeing people being dragged to Hell by teenage "demons."

9. Your church had Chick Tracts-
Chick tracts are like Judgment House comic books. They don't pull any punches and they cover a wide range of topics: evolution, Dungeons and Dragons, greed, drinking and much more! Most 90s church kids were aware of the entertaining stories and nightmare-inducing depictions offered within those weird little tracts.
Charles Dickens won't mind...

10. You went to church camp-
Whether it was Centrifuge, Crosspoint, or En Fuego, church camp awesome. There were games and music and cool inspirational speakers who re-lit your spiritual flame. You had a great time with all your church friends and came back with renewed passion. And a glow-in-the-dark t-shirt.
"Dude, I've gotten saved like 3 times already this week..."

What did I miss?  What are your favorite memories as a 90s church kid?