While most Southern fashion is modern and chic while remaining classy and respectable, there are a few staples and trends that seriously need to go the way of the cotton plantation.
The Chevron Pattern
This one has been around for several years now and has been on everything from dresses to leggings to diaper bags. In the words of Elsa, "Let it go." I liked the pattern when it first came out. It was different and fresh and bold. Now, after seeing it on dishware and hotel room shower curtains, I think it's safe to say that its heyday is over. Seriously, Charlie Brown called and he wants his shirt back.
Leggings as Pants
Some people can pull off the "leggings as pants" trend. Namely, fourteen year old girls who are a size 2. Thirty-five year old women who have had three children should not wear leggings as pants. If you must wear leggings, wear them under a shirt dress or sweater dress or some other long top that actually covers your rear. And for Pete's sake, don't try to squeeze a size 10 tush into size 4 leggings. It's clothing, not sausage casing.
The Big Multi-Colored Angled Bob
This seems to be the go-to hairstyle for indecisive women everywhere, but it is particularly prevalent (and huge) among Southern gals. Do you want your hair short or long? Let's do both! Brunette or blonde? Both! In some cases (like on Victoria Beckham) it can look cool. However, the height and volume some Southern ladies achieve with this style via heat and hairspray make me wonder how they ever fit through doors. Besides, Posh Spice stopped wearing her hair like this ages ago.
Dresses with Cowboy Boots
Ladies, we get it. You're a country girl and proud of it. Is this wacky combo necessary? I can deal with a flirty dress and a denim jacket, but add the cowboy boots and it just goes into some weird alternative universe where one must ride a horse to the sorority social. What's wrong with a cute pair of sandals or some colorful flats?
I'm not sure why this has suddenly become a "thing." Has theft really become so rampant in the South that we must now stamp our initials all over EVERYTHING? I've seen purses monogrammed, shoes monogrammed (really? shoes?) even monogrammed children's clothing. Do you really need a constant reminder of what you named your kids? Isn't that a stranger danger? Stop the madness and just write the little dears' names on their underwear with a Sharpie like moms have been doing for decades.